Offensive Behavior? Your Intent Doesn't Matter.

Ever have someone say something offensive to you, then try to defend it by saying, “I didn’t mean to offend you”?  Or perhaps the person said it was “just a joke” or was “a compliment”?

Actually, most harassment and disrespectful behavior is unintentional – but intent doesn’t matter!  Not under the law, and not under most companies’ policies.  What matters is, what impact did your words and actions have on others.

You meant that racist joke to be funny?  You meant it as a compliment when you told a colleague her outfit looked sexy?  It doesn’t matter what you meant.  How did your words impact those who heard them?

So, what should you do if you say something offensive?  Apologize. 

And when you apologize, be sure to take responsibility for your behavior and apologize for your behavior.  Don’t apologize for someone’s feelings about your behavior.  Apologizing “if you offended” someone, or if someone “took” what you said “as inappropriate” does not show you’re sorry for saying things you should not have said.  It’s not an apology.  Rather, it blames the other person for being upset about your behavior.

Respectful workplaces require an awareness of our behavior.  Gone are the days of the Golden Rule.  People have different values and boundaries, so when it comes to your behavior, it doesn’t matter how you would want to be treated.  Step up to the Platinum Rule – treat others how they want to be treated.

Do you have a respectful workplace?